Community of Practice and Rising Together
Scope: The social and affective half of The Way of Excellence: why community is the real competitive advantage, how joy sustains intensity, and how milestones and reflection convert experience into growth. Belonging as one of the “three needs” is introduced in Excellence as Mastery and Mattering; this article develops it.
Community: the climbing partners
“Succeed or fail, the journey is almost always better when you have the right climbing partners. If you travel alone, you risk becoming isolated, resentful, and burning out. If you travel with others, you’re likely to find joy, meaning, and purpose.” Etymology as argument: “The word compete comes from the Latin roots com, which means ‘together,’ and petere, which means to ‘seek,’ ‘rise up,’ or ‘strive.’ In its most genuine form, even competition is about rising together.” The claim: “The real competitive advantage is a supportive community where everyone is dedicated to growth and lifting each other up. This sort of culture makes doing the hard thing a little easier.”
Why it works:
- Mattering: a quoted author argues “Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact, they thrive on it … What they mind is not feeling necessary. Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.” Stulberg: “Mastery and mattering are core psychological needs.”
- Shared understanding in setbacks: “what we’ll get during setbacks is a pat on the back and some much-needed love. That’s because everyone has undergone the same challenges … countless studies find that a central factor of resilience is social support.”
- Meaning of wins: “We can rack up all the wins in the world, but if we don’t have people to share them with, it’s not long before the whole pursuit begins to feel empty.”
- Hindsight: “we are less likely to focus on the gold medal, promotion to regional vice president, bestseller … than we are to cherish the bonds and relationships we forged along the way.”
- Mirror effect: “We are all mirrors reflecting onto one another. The people with whom we surround ourselves shape us.” Also: “Working to build a better self almost always means working to build a better community around it.”
Rest, too, is communal: “we worked hard during the day and then unwound around the fire in the company of our tribe at night.” See Consistency Over Intensity.
Joy as renewable fuel
“If you are always angry, you won’t have much fun. And if you don’t have much fun, you probably won’t last long in whatever it is you do. Joy, on the other hand, is a clean and renewable source of energy.” Stulberg uses the psychological distinction: harmonious passion (“absorbed in an activity because you love how the activity makes you feel”) versus obsessive passion (“hooked on an activity because of external rewards and recognition”). Outcomes-obsession “pushes us toward insecure striving (which makes people more susceptible to stress and anxiety), whereas those who find joy in the process perform from a place of security and freedom (and as a result, do better).” The synthesis: “What makes for greatness is being intense and joyful. It’s the joy that makes the ferocious dedication, drive, and intensity sustainable.” And “Sustaining greatness requires the drive to keep pushing, but it also requires releasing from our tunnel vision on what lies ahead and learning to slow down and find joy where we are. It is not either-or.” Compare Passion vs. Drive.
Milestones and reflection
Because excellence “knows no end,” milestones create gravity. “It’s wise to have at least one milestone per year,” and to “separate internal milestones from external ones”: “The day you complete a project is every bit as important as the day it is published, released, or judged by others.” Reflection prompts: “What went well? What didn’t go well? What am I proud of? What would I do differently next time? What relics or artifacts from this stage of the journey can I keep to remember all I’ve learned and become?” The cost of skipping: “when we rush from one accomplishment to the next, we surrender gravity in both senses of the word: something that holds us to the path and something that enriches it with weight and significance.” Formula: “Experience plus reflection equals growth.” Commemoration “make[s] our experiences concrete and give[s] them opportunities to soak in. They become a part of who we are.” The closing definition: “a process of becoming the best performer—and person—you can be … you gain self-respect that nobody can take away.” Final line: “When we reclaim excellence, we reclaim our humanity.”
Both books end by moving the unit of analysis from "me" to "us"
Stulberg: “Working to build a better self almost always means working to build a better community around it.” Holiday, in Generosity and Giving Without Credit: be “the candle that lights another.” Excellence and goodness both turn out to be relational achievements. Compare belonging in The Human Layer in Organizations.